every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
