this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
