There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
