Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
