i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
