The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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