Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
