if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's never too late to be topless.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
