needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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