What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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