I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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