that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I sprained my soul last night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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