I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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