It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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