Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
