CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
