Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
