I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
