i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
