The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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