Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I deserve this hangover.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
