Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
