Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
