Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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