i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
