I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
