well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
