We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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