sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
