; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
