Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
