Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
