hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
