You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
