Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
