If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
FUCK WHALES
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
