Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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