I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
