I'm jealous of your bromance
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
