I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
