you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
