Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
