Are we in a gay sports bar?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
