it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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