If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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