just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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