who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
how drunk are you?
Several
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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