I want you more than these girls want KFC
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
