what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
