Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
