Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
