am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
