Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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