New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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