so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
